A Sharp Pencil

Lately I have found myself being asked by God to reconsider - to look at life and my purpose in a different way. I have looked up only to find myself completely defined by my career in a place that I have no idea how I came to be. I am here to tell you this new consideration is uncomfortable. I guess that is one reason it has taken me so long to blog. You see I have had some pretty significant changes in my life. I have changed jobs and while God’s hand was “all over” this change it has made life – as Priscilla Shirer would say “divinely interrupted”. While my home and husband are still in one town the boys and I are in another during the week. This means for all intensive purposes I am a single mom all week long. I just need to say to all the single moms, there is a special place in heaven for you, because this mom of 3 boys cannot wait to get home every Friday night to get some help. But in all of this God is revealing himself to me in ways that he never has before. You see for about the past year I have been praying for God to show me his way, so that I can follow him. I would pray “Lord show me your will so I will know what decisions to make”. Do you see the pattern? If not just go back and notice how many times I used the word I, me, or my in the last couple of sentences. You see until recently I wasn’t getting it. I am not the star of my own movie. This is not about me. I know what your thinking, I’ve heard that before - but you see I wasn’t ready- maybe I wasn’t listening. Here is what I have realized. I’m not even going to be the best supporting actor in this film- THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME! Let me say it this way, because it took a lot of analogies for me to understand and since I enjoy writing I am now thinking about it this way. Here it is- in God’s movie- the best I can hope to be is the pencil; the pencil that he might happen to pick up as he writes his story. What do I hope? I just hope as he grabs from the many pencils in his desk that I might be sharpened enough to use. 2 Timothy 2:20-21 tell us that “In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some of ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.” So I ask you today, how about you? Are you sharp enough to use? Do you know this movie is not about you? And more importantly, do you call the star of this film, friend and father? If so, please dear one, be that sharpened pencil ready to be used.