"Grace under pressure"..."Grace under pressure"... the phrase that every good Southern girl knows, but one that I keep repeating in my mind lately. It could be the time of year, but I doubt it. I think that God brings me to these junctures just in time to learn something either I was too ignorant to get the first time or perhaps I just wasn't ready to listen. Sometimes the lessons are due to my inattention and others...just God giving me exactly what I asked for. My current response: stupid, stupid, stupid, when will I ever learn that my prayer shouldn't be for what I want but for his will to be done? In the heat of the moment when will I remember and believe, truly believe that his plans are always better than mine? Please dear friends, understand that I said it; of course I said it, "Lord, please let your will be done," but underneath that quick, small, quiet statement was the thought; no the intention, but only if your will is the same as mine. Okay so I admit it and once again, I find myself in a predicament that only he can fix, and yet I guess that's the point. A predicament too big for me, nothing I can fix, this is a God thing only fixable by him. Is it earth shattering, will it destroy my life or the lives of the ones I love? Hardly, but it is important to me and I know that makes it important to God. "Grace under pressure, grace under pressure, grace under pressure". So there it is I am publicly handing it over to God, now the hard part for me. I have to let it go, let God handle the situation. It belongs to him now, I will continue to show "grace under pressure", but because I know that my Lord is blessing me with this experience and will bring me new and exciting blessings.
Yet, "Grace under pressure", seems so fitting for this time of year. I wonder if those were Mary's words, mumbled under her breath as she and her love traveled from inn to inn with not so much as a second glance to them. "Grace under pressure", as she lay in a barn full of animals and gave birth to our King. "Grace under pressure", as they all came. No doubt she would like to do nothing more than sleep, and have a moment, a few moments of privacy with her new family. "Grace under pressure", as they persecuted, taunted, and then nailed him to the cross. "Grace under pressure" as she laid him to rest, for him only to raise again in three days. Do you think those were her unrecorded words? Words that God himself whispered to her as the most trying of days passed before her.
Or are these words just for us? "Grace under pressure", problems that don't even start to measure up to Mary's. Problems so small they shouldn't even be called problems and all the while we show "grace under pressure" because we know "this too shall pass". Our deep longing, the yearning that there is still more to do, more to learn, more to see is just that, it is our longing to be home. Dear friends, it is nothing more than wanting to be home with Jesus in a place that has no problems, no issues, no concerns, to be able to let our hair down and to be able to breathe a sigh of relief because no more do we exist in a place that we have to show "grace under pressure".
Monday, December 14, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Wearing His Socks
I love to come home, change clothes and put on a pair of socks. There is just something comforting about having warm feet, call me crazy. It’s especially wonderful after being in a pair of heels walking around all day. The problem with socks is this…you have to sort them, and I believe that to be from the devil himself. Let me make it clear, I hate to sort socks, probably because I can never get it right. I always end up with a gigantic mess, big feet in little socks and little feet in big socks, it truly makes for a disastrous morning in my fast paced life. My solution was simple, no more sorting socks, we will just put them in a laundry basket and everyone sorts them as needed. It’s sort of an every man for himself philosophy. What is even better about my new philosophy is it worked, or at least for a little while until we got down to the bottom of the basket and “you know who” hadn’t done any laundry.
This is when I made my discovery, something that would change life as I knew it. I had selected my pair of socks after a long day at work, really not paying any particular attention. That is when it happened. I put on the first sock; I can remember thinking “wow, these fit really great, nice and snug. I don’t remember seeing these before”. The next group of thoughts came so rapidly I almost felt like I was in fast forward and slow motion at the same time and went something like, “wonder where these socks came…oh no, that can’t be…since when did his foot get…oh my gosh, I can wear his socks”.
Those of you with older boys can totally appreciate this scenario, I’m sure you have lived it yourself, and you know what comes next. The flashback starts with your new sock partner being a baby and selectively cuts to those important moments that you have shared with him throughout his life, and ends with him standing before you. He has inadvertently walked into the room just in time to witness your near mental breakdown. He has a strange look in his eye, I’m sure it is because he is trying to decide if you have finally lost your mind, or if he is about to get fussed at for one of a million things that he has or has not done. As I pulled myself back into reality I realized at that moment that this is the beginning of the end. So many wonderful and exciting things are before us, and at the same time I know that I have to start letting go. I have to start letting him become who it is that he is going to be.
Thinking back on that event, when I realized that my baby wasn’t a baby anymore, I have to wonder what Mary felt. I wonder what she thought as Jesus grew and the moment she could wear his sandals. What did she see, how did she feel? She knew what lay ahead for her son. How does a Mom even begin to cope with those truths? The only answer I have is this, “but for the grace of God, go I”.
The best part of wearing his socks is that I can now make out, every once in a while, the man he will become. Those brief moments, glimpses into the future, which make me realize that try as I might, who he is and who he will become is totally up to God. No more and no less.
This is when I made my discovery, something that would change life as I knew it. I had selected my pair of socks after a long day at work, really not paying any particular attention. That is when it happened. I put on the first sock; I can remember thinking “wow, these fit really great, nice and snug. I don’t remember seeing these before”. The next group of thoughts came so rapidly I almost felt like I was in fast forward and slow motion at the same time and went something like, “wonder where these socks came…oh no, that can’t be…since when did his foot get…oh my gosh, I can wear his socks”.
Those of you with older boys can totally appreciate this scenario, I’m sure you have lived it yourself, and you know what comes next. The flashback starts with your new sock partner being a baby and selectively cuts to those important moments that you have shared with him throughout his life, and ends with him standing before you. He has inadvertently walked into the room just in time to witness your near mental breakdown. He has a strange look in his eye, I’m sure it is because he is trying to decide if you have finally lost your mind, or if he is about to get fussed at for one of a million things that he has or has not done. As I pulled myself back into reality I realized at that moment that this is the beginning of the end. So many wonderful and exciting things are before us, and at the same time I know that I have to start letting go. I have to start letting him become who it is that he is going to be.
Thinking back on that event, when I realized that my baby wasn’t a baby anymore, I have to wonder what Mary felt. I wonder what she thought as Jesus grew and the moment she could wear his sandals. What did she see, how did she feel? She knew what lay ahead for her son. How does a Mom even begin to cope with those truths? The only answer I have is this, “but for the grace of God, go I”.
The best part of wearing his socks is that I can now make out, every once in a while, the man he will become. Those brief moments, glimpses into the future, which make me realize that try as I might, who he is and who he will become is totally up to God. No more and no less.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Being a Superwoman
Tonight, I am sitting writing this blog as I listen to the rain. It has been raining all day. To busy Moms it’s a wonderful time. Rain means no soccer practice or baseball games, it means that we get to take a short little breath and get caught up on the other things that we have neglected. It allows me for the first time in several weeks, to get the kids to bed on time and sit down with my thoughts and express them to you. To imagine, to wonder, to think...in quiet…
Sometimes I wonder, if it is possible to do everything we are suppose to do. In essence, be “Superwoman” with a big gold “S” stitched across our chest. What does it mean to be Superwoman? That’s easy most women can answer that question. We are to have the perfect home, kids, marriage, and career; be totally connected and assessable at all times, being sure to have a cell phone, Facebook account and Twitter regularly. We have to have our quiet times daily, serve on all the committees both at church and in our community, be at church on time every time the door opens, of course with kids in tow and dressed to the nine. Be at work on time and be fantastic at what we do. And we must always remember to have on earrings, lipstick and a smile.
But what happens if one day we forget our earrings or heaven forbid, we put on two different colored shoes (I know, we’ve all done it!)? We fail, we don’t meet the demands of being a hero, and it feels like you have let everyone down including ourselves. There are always those encouraging words that are said, unfortunately not to you but behind you, “Oh that poor girl, bless her heart she is just overwhelmed”. “Her kids are…” or “her husband just doesn’t…” or maybe even “if she would just get organized she could…” People always have a lot of opinions and never fall short on giving advice, but is that what we need? God says in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. What God did not say in Matthew was to look like Superwomen first and give God the time you have left over. Give him the rainy evenings when the kids are in bed. No, God wants us first; he then can provide everything else.
So, the question of the evening; is Superwomen obtainable, it seems like I see her every once in a while. A glimpse here, a smile there, on the street in high heel shoes with a perfect figure and an expensive suit. Could it be possible that these women just like me are hanging on by the skin of their teeth? Could they feel just as out of control and trapped by the stereotype as I do? If it’s true they certainly don’t show it; and how is that possible? Oh, but it is possible. You see as Christians we are all working toward the same goal, sometimes we just get distracted. To quote my favorite verse, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” So pray, pray to be Superwoman, but please don’t be mistaken. His definition of Superwomen is much better than yours.
Sometimes I wonder, if it is possible to do everything we are suppose to do. In essence, be “Superwoman” with a big gold “S” stitched across our chest. What does it mean to be Superwoman? That’s easy most women can answer that question. We are to have the perfect home, kids, marriage, and career; be totally connected and assessable at all times, being sure to have a cell phone, Facebook account and Twitter regularly. We have to have our quiet times daily, serve on all the committees both at church and in our community, be at church on time every time the door opens, of course with kids in tow and dressed to the nine. Be at work on time and be fantastic at what we do. And we must always remember to have on earrings, lipstick and a smile.
But what happens if one day we forget our earrings or heaven forbid, we put on two different colored shoes (I know, we’ve all done it!)? We fail, we don’t meet the demands of being a hero, and it feels like you have let everyone down including ourselves. There are always those encouraging words that are said, unfortunately not to you but behind you, “Oh that poor girl, bless her heart she is just overwhelmed”. “Her kids are…” or “her husband just doesn’t…” or maybe even “if she would just get organized she could…” People always have a lot of opinions and never fall short on giving advice, but is that what we need? God says in Matthew 6:33 “Seek first his kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well”. What God did not say in Matthew was to look like Superwomen first and give God the time you have left over. Give him the rainy evenings when the kids are in bed. No, God wants us first; he then can provide everything else.
So, the question of the evening; is Superwomen obtainable, it seems like I see her every once in a while. A glimpse here, a smile there, on the street in high heel shoes with a perfect figure and an expensive suit. Could it be possible that these women just like me are hanging on by the skin of their teeth? Could they feel just as out of control and trapped by the stereotype as I do? If it’s true they certainly don’t show it; and how is that possible? Oh, but it is possible. You see as Christians we are all working toward the same goal, sometimes we just get distracted. To quote my favorite verse, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” So pray, pray to be Superwoman, but please don’t be mistaken. His definition of Superwomen is much better than yours.
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